Angry Toast

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Most people would agree, getting up early in the morning is terrible. Getting up predawn is even worse. In my daily life as a university student, I consider predawn to be any hour earlier than I want to get up. With my downtown office job, however, I’m forced to get up around six so I can catch the train. At this point, I return to a ritual I mastered throughout high school.

Every morning in high school, I set my alarm to 6:10. At this hour, I would wake up and I would wake up angry. I would turn on my bedside lamp and lie in bed scowling. My father woke at 6:00, and since he did not share my seething predawn rage, he would very kindly bring me a piece of toast with peanut butter. I would thank him for his efforts, turn off my bedside lamp, lie back down and eat my toast in the dark. On the worst of days, I even ate the toast with my eyes closed. I continued with this ritual for so long, and it became so well known, it was referred to as Angry Toast.

In my second year of university, my football team had some early morning practices that required me to wake up around 5:30. This time my father was not there to bring me Angry Toast, so came up with a brilliant plan.

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I brought all the materials I needed, toaster included, to my bedside. When my alarm went off, I had only a few moments to wait before I could again enjoy toast from the anger of my own bed! The first photo was actually taken on the morning of my fateful return to Angry Toast. You just can’t fake that kind of fury. By the time I finished my toast, I was ready to start the day with enthusiasm! Sadly the ritual doesn’t feel the same if I eat the toast in bed at ten in the morning, but for the rest of the summer, you won’t have to ask what I’m having for breakfast. 

Song of the Day: Navy Taxi by Kate Nash

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